I remember being told by well-intentioned Christian people that questioning is doubting.  Faith [salvation, and good works] was all that I needed to go to heaven.  Well, for an intellectual, that’s kind of hard.  My mother and I laugh that there’s nothing worse than an ignorant Christian.  But, I think an arrogant Christian is definitely more problematic.  After all, the fall of man was a result of an act of Pride, no? 

As someone who has spent the last 3 years of my life in deep study of theology and the mysticism of God, I can say that on my spiritual journey I have uncovered more questions than answers.  I am 100% certain that God is Love.  I have faith that love is reconcilitory, and I believe that Jesus was the great reconciler.  I believe that we are to love others, to reconcile our differences with others, and to bridge gaps to live in community–even when we don’t disagree with one another.  I also believe that a child likely has more access to the divine mystery than I.  After all, she isn’t trying to figure it out–she just is. 

Luke 10:17-24. I thank you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that you have hidden these things from the wise and the intelligent and have revealed them to infants.

You can’t possibly mean that, Jesus. Give me a break. I’ve spent most of my life reading the Bible and books about the Bible. I’ve done church history, ethics,  and liturgics. The theological and devotional classics–I’ve nailed them all. I know all the right words, even words like eschaton, soteriology, and anamnesis. I even know about Buddhism, Islam, and all that New Age stuff. I have managed to become (forgive me, but it’s true) rather wise in spiritual matters. And people have taken notice; they respect me as an informed and articulate spokesman for your cause, Jesus. And now you tell me that you have revealed the really important things not to the wise and intelligent–which I have labored to become–but to infants?

“That’s it exactly. You’ve got it–finally. Your wisdom and intelligence can be somewhat helpful, to a point, occasionally, but only if you first make like an infant. What’s the main difference between your approach to life and an infant’s approach to life? Get your polished mind around that. Then come and see me again, and we’ll talk.” (from Forward Movement)

I am thankful for the mystery, and for not trying to understand it all.  I am thankful for the ability to question, and the drive to seek answers.   I am thankful that I am reminded that thinking that I know and pushing my will is the impediment to spiritual growth.